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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Baxter

Fixing a bad attitude

It takes a certain kind of woman to admit that she needs an attitude adjustment. The thing is that we either know we have one and don't know how to stop, or we have no idea where it comes from and leave it at, "it's just who I am; I've always been this way." Those are lies, girl. We haven't always been this way. Now, there might be something that took place a long time ago, and it's why we think it's our normal. But it stems from someplace. Someone did something or something happened, and it's changed us to our core. The problem is that as Christian woman, we can't stay here.

I recall when I began walking closer with God. Church, tithing, serving, and devotionals were the norm for me. But my attitude still stunk. And God let me know, "I've met you where you are, but I won't let you stay here." He began showing me the things that were not pleasing that I needed to change ASAP. I didn't even realize that I was that bad off. But it was because of a man that hurt me in college. I never wanted to be vulnerable again. I didn't want anyone to hurt me ever again. I didn't want to let anyone close only to later betray my trust. I took this attitude on with family, friends, men, and even my kids. It was't pretty. But thank God for grace.

His Word says that we are to clothe ourselves with compassion and gentleness, among other things (Colossians 3:12). I wasn't doing that very well, even if my attire was appealing. My hair and nails could be slayed, my toes were pretty, the heels were high, and the smile was bright. Yet the attitude erased all of that. My words would literally cut you and bring you to tears. If someone went low, I went lower. Problem with it? Bye! Deuces. Kick rocks with open toe shoes because this is who I am! But God informed me, "No it's not. It's who you're pretending to be."

If you're allowing a bad attitude to consume you and making everyone else suffer, it's time to do something about it. It's not becoming. It's not ladylike. It's not Christlike. It's time to change. Why are you reverting to this weapon of choice? What have you not healed from or addressed and it has you afraid to be soft and vulnerable? What's getting in the way of you being a lady? Think back on what changed. Because something happened. Something has you in this place.

Know that it is impossible to have an attitude and be genuinely kind. When your heart is in a negative place, negativity flows. A bad attitude ruins relationships. You affect so many people with your words and actions. And it doesn't reflect the God you serve. If you're in a relationship, think of how it affects your partner. And if he's the reason you can't control your attitude, then it's time to separate. We should bring out the best in each other. If you're single, you have the perfect opportunity to work on yourself now. Address those things that need to be changed. Question is, what are you going to do about it?

Steps on fixing a bad attitude

  • Acknowledge where the behavior is coming from. There's an underlying issue that causes you to respond the way you do. What is it?

  • Evaluate your life right now. What's negative and having an effect on you? This will allow you to see what you can control and change.

  • Pause before you speak or do something that you may later regret

  • Reflect on why you're feeling the way you're feeling in that moment. What triggered you?

  • Pray and ask God to grant you peace and calmness

I released a Crash Course in The Arsenal for the woman that wants to fix her bad attitude. This might be something for you to consider as it's in depth to get you the change you deserve. Do it for you and for those around you. You can enroll here, or just work on the 5 steps listed above every time you find yourself reaching your boiling point. Either way, an adjustment is in order!

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