Something I've heard time and time again. There are endless posts on social media, emails I receive, and inbox messages from single women that are over being single. They don't understand why and how much longer. They desire to meet their partner to do life with. They go on dates and get their hopes up only for it to be another false alarm. They get set up on blind dates, give exes second chances, date down, settle, try online dating, smile extra hard at the workplace, drop hints to their friends and co-workers that they're open, yet NOTHING. Why does this happen?
When things don't go as desired, many women revert to believing they're hidden by God, waiting while their husband is being specially prepared. Sometimes, God is still doing something in the man. But I'm curious to know how much of it is on the woman. We don't see instances in the Bible where the man was being crafted and it's why the woman was in waiting. So why do we believe and say this?
Marriage isn't my portion!
Oh, the woman who is tired of getting her hopes up always says this after another failed datingship. She has a strong desire to get married, yet it's not working out. Doesn't mean that marriage isn't for her. God says He'll give us the desires of our heart. He repeatedly says to keep praying for what you want and that if we ask in His name it'll be ours. Why would marriage be any different? The thing is that perhaps you're not ready for what you're praying for. Maybe the issue is your prayers. What are you waiting on God to provide? What are you looking for in a spouse? And are these worldly desires or to elevate the kingdom? Remember that obedience brings blessings. You may be in your own way...
Connect to disconnect
Because here's what comes with certain desires. We train ourselves to connect to later disconnect. There's a lot of aimless dating and we run at the site of a man that doesn't satisfy us on all levels. This goes back to the why of getting married. The who is less important if you know why. Being a wife requires grace, love, and patience. We're called to help the husband. To love every day. To run a household, provide, support, encourage, and motivate. But many women are desiring marriage based on what a man can do for them. And if it appears that a man doesn't come exactly the way they desire, they're on to the next.
Know your WHY
Why do you want to be in a relationship? Why do you want to get married? Why do you desire what you desire? This will say much about your season of being single. Perhaps there are things that you haven't allowed God to mend and tend to within you and it's why you haven't found lasting love. There's an order to this! There are steps you must go through in order to get to the ultimate connection you're desiring. Problem is that we're skipping all over the place, frustrated with the results, and taking all of that into a possible relationship. The foundation is shaky, sis. You can't start like that.
The more time you spend with God, the more He'll reveal to you. He'll show you things that need to change. You'll produce good fruit and you'll be aware of the fruit that others display (or lack). Some of us desire a husband more than we desire God. And we should be wise enough to know that God won't settle for this madness. Spend time with Him daily. Pray for your husband, but pray that He gives you the spirit of a godly wife, as well. Pray for divine connections and divine downloads. Stand on His promises and be all that He has called you to be. As a Christian woman, praise, worship, and prayer should be the norm. Time in His presence should be the norm. Reading the Bible should be the norm. Be intentional with your pursuit of Him. Delight in Him. Then, and only then, will He give you the desires of your heart.
Here's the thing. I can guarantee that there are things you are doing wrong. It happens to the best of us. Get your free coaching on 10 wrong ways to get a man by clicking here. And if you're ready to find love in order as a Christian women, are you ready for the No More Lonely Nights webinar? I give info on how to cut ties from things holding you up, removing the blessing blockers, and 10 tried and true tips on finding love. But they must be done IN ORDER! Enroll here. You are guaranteed to get the love you truly deserve and desire. But only if you're ready to put in the work!
Check out the podcast on religion interfering with relationships here