Because many have not discovered the art to the 1st date. It can be awkward and nerve-racking. You don't want to fumble over yourself. You want to make a good impression. You want to ensure you ask the correct questions. All that jazz. 

The main thing I need you to remember as a woman is that you are a human BEING, not doing. Don't do the most. Just be you! No need to fret or panic. He's just a guy. Either it will or won't lead to something. And that's OK! Here are some tips on how to master the first date, followed by the do's and don'ts. Lastly, I want to give you some examples of appropriate first date questions. 

​

1. Be comfortable. Obviously you want to make a good first impression. Dress nice, dress appropriately, and be presentable, yes. But be comfortable in what you choose to wear. Because when nervousness is already present, it's proven that being in an outfit that is comfortable while still appealing will increase your self-esteem, allowing one to...

2. Be calm. No need to be anxious. Again, it's just a man. So relax. Be prepared to have a good time getting to know someone a bit better. Not sure what helps you relax but be sure to do that before your date. Listen to some music that gets you pumped and makes you feel good. Ask yourself why certain emotions are present. Consider taking a bubble bath prior to heading out while listening to music and asking yourself those questions. Perfect combo. 

3. Be open. I tell my VIB clients to remember that first dates are almost never ideal. They don't go as planned. 2 people who are nervous and wanting to make a good impression. Something stupid may get said, and yes. Maybe even something offensive. Craziness can come out when there's a stressful situation. This is not to excuse rude behavior, obviously. On a first date, a guy and I were discussing favorite TV shows. I casually mentioned how I enjoy crime shows and Investigative Discovery. He chuckled and asked why. My response? "I've never had a problem seeing people die or get killed." WRONG thing to say to someone who has served overseas and has PTSD because of those things. Offensive! It was awkward for a moment, but we bounced back. He was open. I was open. Because first dates tend to have awkward moments. So be open to another date. 2nd dates tend to have higher success rates because both persons are more relaxed.

4. Be at peace. Because even as open as you may decide to be, get this: it might not go anywhere, still! I can't stress this enough! It's funny when many women want to ask all the important questions on the first date as to "weed out" the ones that aren't for them. No! Please stop this! Interviewing on the first date is a big no-no that is actually detrimental. Please listen to the podcast I did on Data Collecting. It dispels many of the myths that have hurt single women. 

5. Be engaged. Be present. Ask general questions. Show that you're there in the moment. Don't stare off in space, focus on others around you, etc. Even if he's quiet or "distant" try to think of what HE may be feeling and simply be present. Strike up a conversation. My ebook, Gettin' it On, has GREAT convo starters for dates!

6. Be kind. No matter what, be kind. No matter who does what, be kind. No matter who says what, be kind. Be courteous to him, any servers, waiters, people you come across, etc. We're not tainting our image at the end of the day, ladies. You can have a bit of sass, but remember we're still SAS: SAVED and Single! We clothe ourselves in kindness among other things.

7. Be you. Be your true authentic self. No auditioning. Don't get caught in the performance trap. Simply show who you are. He can either take it or leave it.