• Victoria Baxter

How to lose a man...


There are ways to get a man, but one thing for sure is that there are ways to lose a man. Many women have gone from relationship to relationship, man to man, connecting to only disconnect later. If this is you, we must be honest and look at the common denominator: it's you, my friend.


While our most basic need as humans is unconditional acceptance, it varies for men and women what the individual needs are. Women want love. And we often stop at nothing to get it, normally because we've failed to love ourselves first. I did a webinar on self-love that explained why self-love is important, but also how to love yourself. Most of the poor decisions we make are due to lack of self-love. We don't hold ourselves in a high enough regard.


But we must understand that one of the most basic needs for a man is freedom. Not free to do whatever he wants in hopes that you'll stay anyway. But they need to know that they won't lose themselves in a relationship. They need to feel like a man that still has a level of control. Well when you throw an overbearing woman in the mix, it's a recipe for disaster. When's the last time you checked yourself and your emotions?


Women have a need to feel connected. Connections are our life lines. Whether it's work, family, socially speaking, or even romance. Connections are important to us. But when things don't go the way we expect and prefer, our common sense and rationale goes out the window and the emotions take over. If you live your life driven by emotions, expect to drive a man away.


Men can't deal with this. It rattles them. It startles them. It literally sends them into panic mode when we lash out in any way. This can be many different things:

  • Questioning his every move

  • Constantly trying to determine where you stand

  • Overbearing

  • Clingy

  • Needy

  • Insecure

  • Controlling

  • Unstable

  • Overcommunicating

  • Verbally abusive

  • Manipulative


Men don't respond well to this. We have women's intuition and men have signals as well that tell them "she may be too much for me to handle." If you've found yourself repeatedly being ghosted, left, broken up with, neglected, etc, it's time for a self-evaluation. It's something that's causing these men to run for the hills. Often the problem is our own abandonment issues and we live in constant fear someone will always leave us. Forced things tend to break. And if you're finding yourself trying to force a man to love you, be with you, or commit to you, expect disaster to follow suit. A man can only take but so much and he'll retreat. Sadly, this sends women into an even bigger frenzy. Now they feel the need to fix it. "What did I do wrong?" "What's happening?" "Why is he pulling away?" So they take it up an undesired notch, driving a man further and further away.



Every bit of your emotions is what will cause a man to stay or leave. Does he get peace from you? Is there a sense of freedom? Does he feel secure? Does he feel like a man? Just like with everything in life, you get what you put in. If you're sowing discord, you'll reap disaster. If you're sowing calamity, you'll reap disaster. If you're sowing peace, you'll reap something beautiful. If you're sowing understand, you'll reap a great foundation. Check yourself, sis. Control your emotions. Love yourself. Know your worth. Don't try to force something. Know when to walk away. Be honest with that friend that can talk some sense into you. Quick. Otherwise, you'll need a lifetime supply of Meow Mix.


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