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  • Writer's pictureVictoria Baxter

Are you ready to date?

Many women believe they're ready to date, but only because they've told themselves they are. They're sick of being single. They want someone to save and they secretly want someone to save them. They like the idea of being the perfect couple on social media. They're ready to share with the world how their prince charming has finally arrived and singleness has come to an end. All of that sounds nice, but if a woman's not actually ready, there's a problem. First things first, know what you want and why. This eliminates so much confusion down the road (like date #3 when these things come up).

You may find yourself thinking you're ready, but are you? Are you really ready to date? I find more and more that many aren't. They're desiring a relationship for all the wrong reasons. We can't afford to keep doing this. Though the divorce rate isn't as high as we make it, it's still too high. I believe if more people would find contentment while single, be complete on their own, chase purpose and happiness as much as they chase a mate, discover themselves, etc, the rapid rate that relationships and marriages are failing would stop. But for now, I want to give you a few ways that you can be sure that you're ready to date and meet someone new.

You possess happiness and joy

If you're not happy single, don't expect a man to make you happy. I know you think your frustration comes from not having a mate, but it's deeper. There's no way that a man can bring happiness to a person that already has peace and joy. If you're a positive person who's happy and content with life, then you're off to a good start.

You're already complete

Again, you can't expect a man to complete you. Many women are going down the list realizing they have the degree, career, house, car, and the only thing missing is the man. You can't expect a partner to bring completion to your life. He can be a bonus, but he's not a completion. This is unknowingly giving a man a job that he didn't apply for. His job will be to keep you happy and to perfectly fit into the puzzle you designed to make you feel complete. If you simply want to share your life with someone, the good and bad parts (also being open to his good and bad parts), then kudos!

You've discovered your purpose

Many are too busy chasing a mate and haven't even chased their passions and purpose. You're called to more than just be a wife. What's the last thing God spoke to you? What is your purpose? We all have one. Discover it and walk in it!

You love yourself

This is huge! There's an overwhelming number of women that only want a partner because they want someone to love them. This is signs of someone that doesn't have much love for self, and someone that hasn't truly experienced the fullness of God's love. If you constantly reflect the love you have for yourself in your thoughts, speech, deeds, and actions, then bravo. If you're not consumed by the thought of a man giving you love, awesome!

The love you have for yourself will show in the choices you make

A relationship is a desire, not a need

It's one thing to want and desire a relationship. That's normal and healthy. Nothing is wrong with that. But if it's the only thing you think of, day in and day, that's not good. If your main focus and number one desire is a relationship, that's not good. If you're frustrated because all you really want is a relationship, that's not good!

You're not desperate

Desperate is an adjective described as a feeling, showing, or involving a hopeless sense that a situation is so bad as to be impossible to deal with. When your desire for a relationship is a strong yearning, it's borderline, if not full-blown, desperation. This is not healthy. You'll end up engaged in a manic love affair with almost whoever you end up in a relationship with. Now, desperation doesn't always mean you're willing to settle. But if you settle, it's because you're desperate. Another sign you're ready to date is if you...

Won't settle

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Some will settle for a piece of a man just to say they have someone. If this isn't you, you're in a good place. You're worth so much more than you should ever settle for. Know your worth!

No list, just standards

Once you've dropped that superficial list of things a potential man must check off, then you're really ready. This shows a woman that understands what relationships are actually about. She can be open-minded knowing that God can do something beautiful if she takes her hands off. Have standards. Never lower those. But standards are things that should be the obvious. He should be a Christian that's displaying good fruits. Since we're talking about dating and not just a fling or a friendship, he should have a job, showing he can provide as a man. Standards are never to be lowered, but preferences should be written in pencil.

No commitment issues

If you have a fear of commitment and relationships, don't date. I would assume as a Christian woman your goal with dating would be to eventually find a life partner. Well if you fear relationships and committing, then dating isn't what you should be doing right now. But if you're open to a relationship happening with the right person for you, go for it!

Communication isn't a problem for you

Can you communicate like an adult? Can you verbally express how you feel, clearly? Do you know how to state what you need, desire, and feel via text, phone calls and in person? Most relationships fail due to a lack of communication.

The list goes on. Do you possess self-control? Do you have empathy and good self-esteem? Are you confident and do you have self-respect? Are you ready to build memories and not walls? Are you excited about dating and not stressed or apprehensive? All of these things must be addressed. If you've checked the list off, then it looks like you're ready to date, girl! Put on some lip gloss and perfume and step on out! Go where he is. Make your presence known. If you're still unsure or just wanting some guidance, let me be the one to help you get it on. Click here for dating coaching services that are self-guided and one-on-one. Your pick!

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